April 19, 2015

April 6, 2015

Sorry Dominic.

I dont want to say that I know how you feel, because nobody knows how you feel.  But, it sufficeths me to say that fact that I havent dated anyone seriously is not because I have never havent ever liked anyone.  So I have had my heart broken a time or two as well.  And its dumb, because there isnt anyone to be mad at.

But I know this is cheesy and I dont know if you pray a whole lot, but I know that there is somone. one person who knows how it feels to be frustrated Dominic when he gets his hopes lost. I had a really interesting experience yesterday.  I met a man that was agnostic yesterday.  And we were talking and he was explaining the logic of religion as if it was a long history. That started with the jews and then came christ, and then there were all these sub religious, like the church of jesus christ.  And I started explaining the restaurccion, as logically as I could.  And he started to laugh, and explain how its just all a story.  And my companion (the smart one who started to realize I was getting really really frustrated) invited him to pray and said goodbye, and then I just couldnt leave without saying, I want to talk to you more because I studied in Jerusalem for 4 months, I know a lot about other relgions . . .  and then I couldnt finish my sentance.  As we were leaving my comp said to me ¨The Cure isnt wisdom¨.  And I was so frustrated.  I went home, and went in to the bathroom and cried.  How dare he think that I was just another one of those crazy religious fanatics that came here who knows why. maybe traditions, to talk to people about Jesus.  Didnt he know how much I sacrificed.  Didnt he know how much suffering I had gone through to learn his laugauge, submerge myself in a foreign culture, sacrifice so much time that I could be doing things sooo much more productive then to talk to people about the Bible!¨ All for him.  For people like him, so that they can have the same joy that I had.  How could he not understand that I could offer him a potential so very much more than his potential without this offer of everlasting peace, and eternal families.  How dare he laugh at me, mock me.  

And then I realized, that on this easter sunday, i had been given a gift.  I got to feel how Jesus might have felt, teaching the gospel to people that mocked him.  That thought he was a crazy fanatic.  And I feel so much gratitude for him, that he did what he did.  That he submerged himself in the same weaknesses of the flesh that we have, and that he felt exactly how I felt.  And that he didnt sin.  His love for these men never wavered.  

This was my Easter miracle.  And yes, I just passed my 6th month mark, so this might be the only easter I get in Paraguay.  Actually I think I come home april fools day of next year (and if you were going to ask me if I am going to call my mom and tell her there were problems with my plane and I ended up in the jungles of Colombia or pretend that I cant speak a word of english for my first day home, the answer is yes.)

Anyway, hope all is well by the next time you write!  Well, actually I hope you are feeling better when you get this email.

Love,

Hna Jarman

dcrowl1192 . <dcrowl1192@gmail.com>

4/19/15

to me

Apr 19. 2015

I definitely missed sending you an email last week! Lo ciento! Anyways, I wanted to thank you for your comforting words. Definitely what I needed to read after that happened. Quick update: Jen and I are totally fine, still talking, and will probably meet up sometime during the summer. She'll be a great friend to have for a long time. Now to address what you said. I'm definitely sorry to hear that you had such a disappointing experience like the one you described to me. I have my reservations about religion as an institution but in a situation like that there's no use arguing with people because neither person is going to change their mind. All that's going to happen is someone is going to get angry. In your shoes, I honestly probably would've done the same thing hahaha. I would've wanted to counter his arguments and defeat him. Unfortunately that's not what your job is about. It's about inviting people to come to Christ, not dragging them kicking and screaming! Do you think that serving a mission has strengthened your testimony by the way? Or was it strong already before you left? 

Sounds like this was a real poignant moment for you. Also sounds like you learned a lot from it too! In the end, that's the best you can do when given trials like that one. 

So Congrats on your 6 months being done! And if you come home on April Fool's day next year, I fully expect you to pull all of those pranks. Paul Jarman deserves it! By the way, did you know that my family moved back into your neighborhood?? Mom is renting an apartment on Avendale! Small place, but it'll still be nice to be back there!

Well I'd better get to bed. Hope this email finds you well!

Love Ya!

Dominic