Sept 28, 2015
Katie emailed me this week and I just laughed reading her email of how stephen was worried that I might get married, and steal the condo. Out of sight, out of mind, right . . .
She also asked me about what is the thing that causes me the most stress in the mission.
And, I really was going to write about these two things today to you 4, the ones who probably understand me better than everyone else.
I think that this week, or really this change, I learned a lot about how to be a good girlfriend. Because I can work hard, in fact I like to work hard. But sometimes, I dont like taking breaks, or fixing people that are struggling. Well, actually, I do like helping people that are struggling, but not when I am on the Lords time. I have the rest of my life to be a visiting teacher, and 18 months to baptize. And with the scathing talks of Grandpa L ¨the missionaries that enter their house 15 minutes early are SCARED and weak!¨ and grandpa J ¨remember that all of this time is of the Lord. Even p day. You made covenants in the temple to give all that you have, not all that you want to give.¨ you can kind of imagine that one of the biggest struggles I have had for all of my mission is taking breaks. Your sick . . if you can still walk, take some motrin, and keep working. If you are discouraged, go and find someone else more discouaraged and comfort them. If you just want to cry, walk in the street to the next lesson, take the roads that dont have very many people, cry, and then dry your tears before you get to the next house. Like . . . I dont know this is how I was raised or how I am, but I feel a lot of urgency in the mish to be effective, to be obedient. And sometimes I think that my comps would think in the same way.
And I guess that the Lord had to teach me to love. That the key to the atonement, yes, was the exact obedience of Jesus Christ. But why did he do it? Why did he do this great sacrice? Love, the pure love that only a God could have.
So he gave me 9 months of latin comps. A culture that unerstands so very well, what it means to love others. Because I think every single one of my comps has taught me something about loving others. And what it means to love others.
This week was hard. Or, discouaging. Which means that I was even more motivated to work harder, change things, contact houses, do the dirty and hard part of misisonary work. And my comp was more willing to feel discouraged, not get up exactly on time, have lots of moments where she couldnt imagine studying or working because she really just needed back massages, hair braided, baby talked, tons of patience, and a little bit of putting up with (but not much because idk what happened but she treats me super nice, super patient like 99% of the time now).
She needed the love that a mom gives to her little girl. Or a girlfiend gives to her boyfriend.
And then thursday night the little hermana with 3 weeks in the mish pounded on our door (they live in the apartment below us) at 3 in the morning because her trainer was throwing up, and had tons of stomach pain and she didnt know what to do. So I did emergency splits with her and she slept with my comp and I went down the take care of the poor hermana with food poisoning who was losing water from both ends if you know what I mean. And there really wasnt much to do. I stroked her stomach, talked to her, held back her hair when she threw up, just kind of held her when it hurt, and said a prayer of faith asking God to let her sleep till the morning when we could get a blessing, or go to the doctor or do something. Actually the prayer was a miracle bc i prayed in english for the first time in a year, and it came out perfectly, and then the Lord answered my prayer because I told the hna that it she and i believed my prayer was going to be as effective as a blessing, it would be. And it was.
And I still am so bad at loving. At hugging, at being cutesey, and certainly all the training to hug that trent tried to instill in me in my first year at college has been undone, but at least I know my weaknesses. And this week, it wasn´t like I exaclty wanted to be all cutesey, but I could do it. And this is a step in the right direction right!?
so, I dont know if I will ever be a good enough girlfriend that someone will ever want to marry me, but luckily I have lots more time to not think about that right!
But the biggest miracle of this week is that we accompanied this poor hermana in the hospital and then we stopped by the offices on our way home to pick up some stuff and I saw an elder in the offices. An elder that should have gone home this last change. But he extended to help out the new reemplacement in the offices and the new presidente (he was the secratary). And he has been in the offices for a year now and is one of my favorite missionaries because he always makes the missionaries feel like they are doing good, and just has the spirit with him strong. You can just tell that he has been through the refiners fire and that he is . . . . idk, born again. And I saw him and asked him about how he extended. And I dont know, I just was left thinking about how much I loved the misson. How I wouldnt give up anything in the world to sturggle so hard, learn so much, laugh so much, have a rollar coaster every week. I love it. And I imagined someone saying (after this very hard week) . . . Liza, you can go home now. You fulfilled your responsibility. But if you want, you can stay 6 more months. And my heart and spirit resoundingly answered Yes, I want to stay! This is the best thing that ever happened to me. Also the hardest. But just the best.
Love you all,
Hermana Jarman
Sorry the letter is short this week! I always run out of time!
The biggest miracle of this week is that me and my comp accompanied an hermana to the hospital and then we stopped by the offices on our way home to pick up some stuff and I saw an elder in the offices. An elder that should have gone home this last change. But he extended to help out the new reemplacement in the offices and the new presidente (he was the secratary). And he has been in the offices for a year now and is one of my favorite missionaries because he always makes the missionaries feel like they are doing good, and just has the spirit with him strong. You can just tell that he has been through the refiners fire and that he is . . . . idk, born again. And I saw him and asked him about how he extended. And I dont know, I just was left thinking about how much I loved the misson. How I wouldnt give up anything in the world to sturggle so hard, learn so much, laugh so much, have a rollar coaster every week. I love it. And I imagined someone saying (after this realtively long week) . . . Hermana, you can go home now. You fulfilled your responsibility. But if you want, you can stay 7 more months. And my heart and spirit resoundingly answered Yes, I want to stay! This is the best thing that ever happened to me. But just the best.
No comments:
Post a Comment