August 31, 2015
Dear Liza,
First of all. Wow. I think that was was actually exactly what I needed to hear at that moment. I know you probably didn't think much of it as you were frantically trying to send it out, but it meant a lot to me. So thank you. I guess you're right in a way. So much of what I do is because of other the influence of other people. The indirect influence. I guess that's a byproduct of being so social and so dependant on the friendship of others- I often don't ask myself why I'm doing what I'm doing if it's in the moment. I dunno. Truth be told I don't think I'm ready to read the Book of Mormon again or seek another form of meaning. I prefer to find meaning in my day to day existence. And it is a pretty darn good existence! I really do have so much to be grateful for. Anyways, thank you for helping me think things through in a time of need.
So I had a really interesting bike ride tonight. I recently took up mountain biking as a hobby and I am finding that there is a pretty steep learning curve! Today I crossed paths with a rattlesnake, almost got charged by a cow (like it reared up and stamped its hoof!) and I sprung a flat tire 4 miles away from my car. Of course I didn't pack a pump or a spare tube. So I'm learning! But i definitely like it. It's such a great way to get outdoors and enjoy some fresh air. And it definitely beats running! No offense to runners, but I don't know how they do it! You did cross country right? It will always be a mystery how people get so much enjoyment out of having your lungs scream and your chest heave up and down while your knees feel like they want to give out. Well maybe that's a little too dramatic but you understand what I'm saying.
Well, I'd better get to bed. Hope you have a great week!
Love ya!
Dominic—
Just bear with me for a minute, because I want you to know that I care about you a lot. Also, that if you have any type of confidence in my logic and intellegence, to know that I did not go on a mission because it was going to be a nice, eye opening experience. I went to Jerusalem, I saw poverty, I learned a lot, I sweated in a beating flaming sun. Every social reason I would have to go on a mission, I kind of already fulfilled with going to Peru and Jersalen as a young adult. Or I am saying that I really with all my heart believe in what I am saying when I preach the gospel. Its not just a social thing. And I truly believe that I am a misionery for the only church in the world that is literally directed by Jesus Christ himself.
Also, I have a great relationship with my parents, and I knowing the logic of my mom and the calmness of my dad, I know that I could be a good person and not be part of the church. I could have had a great life filled with lots of joy and wholesome fun. Maybe becasue of the way I was raised I would have even abstained myself from drinking . Everyone would respect me, maybe even look up to me as someone that seemed to have good values and a strong sense of family, and even one day I would be the pta president in the elementry school of my kids.
Because I came to learn as I grew up (as I am still learning) that what others say doesnt matter. What others want of you doesnt matter. Thats easy. Everyone learns this at one point in their life.
But as I prayed and asked for an answer for if I needed to go on a misison, and really more than that, if I should abandon my career track of being a doctor to be a nurse, or rather, have a job that conduces more to being a stay at home mom, I recieved an answer or rather the strong understanding that what I WANT doesnt matter to God. He did not send me here to the Earth to do what I wanted to do. I had a lot to do . . . a lot that I had promised to do, and my lifes purpose was not determied by the shallow desires of an 18 year old. The sense of happiness of mere men is frankly shallow and a little dumb (and anyone who sees good old buds drinking on a friday or saturday night can look around at his mildly or very drunk freinds and know . . . this kind of happiness is fake. It doesnt last. It doesnt actually feel all that good.)
And I guess what I am saying (and I am only saying this one time . . I will not be annoying because really, god doesnt pester us either, neither should misisonaries) is that, it doesnt matter if you are ok with your day to day existence. It doesnt matter what your mom wants for your life, it doesnt matter what your best friends want with your lfie, and it doesnt even matter what YOU want with your life. You are called of god, you recived a part of his power when you had just 12 years. He has such plans for you. Aw, man, Dom, you are so much better than a good hearted military boy that lives in Kansas and mountain bikes as a hobby, and wants to help homeless people break the povery barrier. You are a son of God, preordained to do such wonderful things in your life (if you dont beileve me then just read your patriachal blessing). And all of this happiness, all of these blessings, you just cannot have if you do not cling on to the church.You just cannot have these same blessings, when you dont do the work, you dont deserve them. God cant give them to you.
Dominic, I know you, and I know you well enough to say that you are going to do amazing things with your life, but then what. This life is short, and painful sometimes. What luck we have to be born in the united states, and have such great lives. But what about the people that live in cardboard boxes and scrap wood and sometimes dont eat 3 times a day. Reason demands that there be an afterlife. And when that day comes and we stand in front of this grand creator, what are you going to say.
So as a favor for me, (beacuse I think if I gave you any other book and told you to read it I think you would out of respect for our friendship, or social pressure or whatever) do three things for me.
Meet with the missionaries 1 time. Just once. Read 1 chapter of the Book of mormon. 3 Nephi 11. And pray sincerely every morning and night for a week. doesnt matter if it feels awkward at first. I wont take much time . . .
Anyway, your great.
And I want you to know that this doesnt affect our friendship at all. Dont feel like I dont like you, because I really do. Alot really. But friends are friends because they can be open with eachother.
Love,
Liza
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